Feeling glum in the Sun – Our Sacramento and Folsom Counselors can help
I have always had a like/dislike relationship with summer. I like the idea of it’s possibilities with images of sitting down by the beach with a cool beverage, enjoying a BBQ with friends, or splashing in cool water on a hot day. However, I often end up disliking the reality, when I am sitting in traffic on 100 F degree days trying to get home from work; being too hot/tired/financially limited (fill in the adjective) to go and do many of the relaxing fun things that I had imagined I’d be doing.
Recently I had a day where I was feeling a little sad that I hadn’t got any “official plans” for summer. I decided to ask three of my close friends, (one aged in their 20s, one in their 40s, and one in their 50s), what their thoughts of summers are to see if they ever felt the same as I was. I was genuinely surprised to hear that many of their thoughts were similar to my own. One friend said that because she lives out of state many of her thoughts of summer include sadness about the missed parties, time with family, and about being single. She shared that it was hard for her seeing couples and families out enjoying the farmers market etc. when she is alone.
Another stated that the heat prevented her from going out and ultimately the endless summer days led to feelings of isolation. The third friend said that the summer brought about anxiety around body image, especially in a culture oftentimes highlighting the value of youth. We also discovered we had commonalities in financing vacations or time off, being lonely, or other anxieties about expectations of summer.
Get Started Today!
Call us at (844) 546-6788
to schedule a free 20 minute consultation
Folsom CA 95630 and Sacramento CA 95825
Why do I feel more ‘blue’ during the summer?
Although there are many factors that may play a role in the increase in depression or anxiety, the following examples provide some of the more common causes:
Summertime SAD – seasonal affective disorder impacts approximately 4-6% of the population with increased depression symptoms as the days get darker and colder; however, there is significant research showing that around 10% of those impacted by SAD have experienced the reverse with more sadness being present during the summer months. The research isn’t exactly clear as to the causes, but are likely contributed to by loss of sleep or poor appetite on the long hot days.
Body Image Concerns – During the winter we can cover up hiding what we feel are our “problem areas” with layers or long sleeves but summer makes that less possible. Many people have anxiety about their bodies and ultimately avoid what they feel may be embarrassing or awkward situations in their bathing suits or shorts, leading to missed gatherings and socialization.
Feeling alone – Whether it has been a recent break up, kids have moved out of the home, a dear love one has passed, or another type of loss, the summer can be a challenge, especially when you see other families out having fun or you are having sad memories of fond days of summer with people who are no longer in our lives.
Financial – Chevy Chase is not the only one heading to places like Walley World, many of our colleagues, friends, and family are looking forward to their summer trips to Disneyland, Fiji or some other fun destination. While trips don’t always have to break the bank, for many of us, getting the time off work or other financial responsibilities make traveling during the summer difficult. It can be a challenge to know how to answer when someone asks you “are you going on a vacation this summer?”.
Expectations – Likely for many people, however, the biggest problem making us feel sad during the summer is unmet expectations. The feelings that we “should” be doing fun, family friendly, exciting activities often leads us to disappointment when our reality is that our summer looks like the rest of the year with all the same challenges.
How we can help ourselves get through the tough summers?
Okay, so we have covered some of the “why” summer can be tough, but what can we do about it? Here are some useful coping tools:
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Set realistic expectations
– While it is perfectly okay to daydream about cocktails in the sand, setting an expectation that your whole summer is going to be full of magical romance is most likely not very realistic. Instead try to think of one or two things that you would really like to accomplish. If funds are low or schedules are tight, try and think about low cost alternatives, like a day trip to the park for a picnic or watching a movie in a cool air-conditioned theater. Spend some time researching your local area and see what activities you’ve never tried. It is amazing what you can find to do in a day in your own city when you change your thinking and explore it like an out of town visitor would. Also, keep in mind that your thoughts of everyone else having a good time while you are not, are likely false. Likely, if you were to ask people you know, most would say that they too can find the summer challenging at times.
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Try to follow a schedule and get sleep
– Do your best to keep your schedule and routine of going to bed at a reasonable time and get enough rest. Even if you are finding sleeping itself a challenge, try taking a cool shower at night, getting in into bed early and reading a good book. Doing things to calm your mind before bed is helpful, which can include avoiding electronics. If you are able to, invest in some curtains that keep out the light, some cool sheets that feel good, or a good fan to help keep you cool. Everything feels a little better when you are able to get good, restful sleep.
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Take care of yourself mentally , allowing for downtime
– Setting boundaries is perfectly acceptable, this can include avoiding social media or setting limits with emotionally draining people or activities. If you know that something is going to be a challenge, then give yourself permission to rest before or afterwards or set time limits. I often like to ask myself “is today an A, B or C day”. With “A” being a great day and “C” being a difficult day. If I am having a “C” day, I give myself permission to go a little easier on myself and maybe opt for doing something to take care of me rather than forcing myself in to another highly undesirable or stressful task. A good rule of thumb is “Would you be as hard on your best friend as you are on yourself?” If the answer is “no” then treat yourself as you would treat your friend.
- Seek help – If your feelings of depression or anxiety are persisting, increasing, or you are having a difficult time understanding why you are feeling so glum, seeking support of a therapist may be very beneficial. Sometimes the summer reminds us of past difficult memories or unresolved feelings about our hopes and dreams. They are important to talk about to stave off any further feelings and bring about a better sense of wellbeing. Remember that you don’t have to go through this alone.
If you are having a difficult summer and want to seek someone to talk to, call us at Lions Heart and we can see about scheduling an appointment. We would love to hear from you.
Get Started Today!
Call us at (844) 546-6788
to schedule a free 20 minute consultation
Folsom CA 95630 and Sacramento CA 95825
Information provided on this site does not constitute a patient therapist relationship, and should be used under the guidance of a licensed mental health professional. Information presented on this page was written by Victoria Carding, LCSW Counselor at Lions Heart Counseling Sacramento.